Online Casino Laughter At Online Casinos Humor

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Our List of the Best Online Casinos

We reviewed dozens of online casinos to bring you this list of the best online casinos. In judging, we applied four criteria: fair odds, bonus offers, above average payout percentages and customer confidence. The trusted casinos below are the ones we both recommend, and play at ourselves.

7 Best Online Casinos
Online Casinos Comments
1. Platinum Play Offers a generous 200% bonus (purchase $50, get $110 free, play with $160).
Gets the top spot for the best payout percentages (as a matter of fact you get here better odds than land-based casinos).
2. 7 Sultans One of the best-established Online Casinos on the Internet. You’ll find the odds are great with the payout percentage over 97%.
3. Vegas Villa Provides 5 star quality gaming. Great odds, top quality gambling and Excellent service.
4. Fortune Room Do not require downloading any software.  Offers some of the best no download games and super comps and prizes for players. Great Customer Service and prompt payouts.
5. Vegas Towers Rated among the best in game quality, security, payout and experience.
6. Desert Dollar Great odds, top quality gambling with very realistic graphics. Customer service is available 24 hours a day by phone/email.
7. Vegas Palms Performs well in all categories. Once you get the free download and start playing for real money, you’ll enjoy the high quality gaming, realistic graphics and great service

A hatchet-faced lady tapped the keeper of the monkey house indignantly on the shoulder. “Those wretched animals of yours appear to be engaged in shooting dice. I demand that you break up the game at once.”

“Shucks,” shrugged the keeper, “They’re keeping strictly within the law, Ma’am. They’re only playing for peanuts.” Top online casinos online casino software grand casino.

“William, I just won the lottery! Pack your bags!”

“That’s great, honey! Should I pack for the beach, the mountains, or what?”

“Who cares? Just get out.” Top online casinos online casino software grand casino.

I was walking down the street the other day when I saw my buddy Matt. I walked up to him and mentioned that I had the most bizarre dream the night before last. Matt listened intently as I told him that the dream consisted of one thing and one thing only. So I told him that all I had dreamt about was a huge glowing number “5.” It was made of gold and sparkled with diamonds.

Matt’s curiosity was peaked. I went on to say that the first thing that I did in the morning was to grab the daily racing digest and look up the fifth race.

Matt raised an eyebrow. So I told him that the #5 horse in the fifth race was named “The Fifth Element.” Matt started grinning. Then I told Matt point-by-point what I did that day. Top online casinos online casino software grand casino.

– I ate five bowls of cereal for breakfast and drank five cups of coffee

– I went for a five mile jog to clear my head

– I took a five minute shower

– I dressed in the fifth suit I found in my closet

– I sat in my car for five minutes before starting it up

– I drove to the racetrack and parked in the fifth stall in the fifth row

– I entered through the fifth admissions gate

– I bought five programs

– I went to the fifth betting window and bet $555 on the fifth horse in the fifth race

– I went and sat in the fifth row of the bleachers making sure there were five people sitting on either side of me.

I settled in and waited for the race to start.

“Well,” said Matt. “Did the horse win?”

I frowned at Matt and said, “Stupid horse came in fifth.”